Dan Stories

She was moving out that night, to Boston. The check in was in three hours, at around 5pm.

2:10 pm

I called her up, three rings, perfect timing, she picks up.

"You know" I start abruptly "a good friend of mine once told me you can see how much a girl likes you for the number of rings the cell rings before she picks up. One ring means she was anxious, five rings means she doesn't really wanna pick it up but she does. Three rings tells you absolutely nothing. Couldn't you have let it ring a little more...or a little less?"

She laughs, loudly, quickly replying "Well, if I did, I'd be an open book. I like to keep some mistery in what we have."

"Yeah. that would be my next question if I didn't already know you'd avoid it...what do we have?"

"So you wanna go out to lunch? I've got 2 hours to spare."

She changes the subject every fucking time.

"What makes you think I have two hours to spare?"

"I know your shcedule, you have about 4 hours before you go into work."

Sometimes I hate it how well she knows me.

"Well I got other plans. I met someone." I tease.

"Was she tall, skinny and with a beautiful smile like me?"

"No she's ugly. And fat. Her name's Rhonda, but at least she 's not moving to a town that's 5 fucking hours away."

"Well, is 5 hours a price you wouldn't pay to be with me?"

"I wouldn't "pay" 10 minutes. You're lucky you're my neighbour or this thing we have would have ended long ago."

"What do we have exactly?" She asks, laughing.

I sigh, loudly.

"You're a lunatic. I'm downstairs, let's go."

"Coming "dear"!"

Seriously, I hate myself for not being able to stop seeing her. She's not serious about anything in her life. Not even me I guess. And I know I've only been with her for over 3 months now but I still don't get her. All we do is fuck and talk about the weather.

Not the weather exactly but...well, you catch my drift, about meaningless, trivial, mundane shit. I have no idea on what her political, religious, even art views are like.

Is that what turns me on? The "relationship with a stranger" thing? It's literally like being with a hooker, every day, for free...maybe I'm just nuts, but I can't help thinking there's so much more she refuses to share that it makes me wonder: am I the hooker here? The easy lay that asks for nothing in return? Fuck it, it's 2 more hours then I won't see her again.

2:50 pm

"Wow...Kiki's Bistro...that's an original place you're taking me to eat." She rolls her eyes, clearly unimpressed, smiling at me two seconds later, letting me know she was joking.

"Well, I didn't want to impress you to much. Afterall, you're leaving in 2 hours. We wouldn't want you to start enjoying this town, do we? Better be safe and take you to the same old shitty restaurant than to run the risk of seeing you shed a tear when you leave."

She laughs again, caressing my cheek and tilting her head. A classic move that gets me hooked everytime. And she knows it.

"You know I'll miss more than just this town don't you?"

"Honestly? I don't know. You're a closed book... You're lucky I like the cover and the abstract in the back. Or you'd have no shot..."

"Don't flatter yourself Dean, I'd have a shot. You're no Brad fucking Pitt."

"You're no Jessica fucking Alba either..." We start laughing, looking at each other intensely. She bites her lower lip, teasing me. Time to go home and work off this meal.

"I'll get this one" I say, while I ask for the check "Get us a cab, saves us 20 minutes we can use doing something else..." I smile slyly, we both know what I mean.

"Are you sure you can keep up for 20 minutes more?" She whispers in my ear before leaving the restaurant. "Maybe we should just walk..." biting my ear as she finishes off the sentence.

"If I can't, you can mock me on it, it's a win-win situation for you!" I reply back loudly as she's walking off, knowing noone would know what I was talking about but her.

3:50 pm

"It's such a cliché, smoking after sex...I have no idea who started this but now it seems like I just can't stop doing it." She states, taking a deep drag from my half smoked cigarette.

"I know why I do it. Sex gets me excited, cigarettes calm me down. It's the perfect ending to an arousing situation. Like covering up a fire with a wet blanket."

"So you're telling me I'm a fireball in bed?" giggles, while snuggling up under my arm.

"You're no Ice Queen that's for sure. But you clearly don't deserve all the credit." I gloat, kissing her forehead.

An awkward silence follows this brief talk, as if we're trying to freeze frame this momment into our minds. The sun shyly bathing the bedroom through the half openned shutters, warmly reminding us there's still life outside this place, something we forgot about when we're toghether.

Then it starts to come back. Reality. The traffic noise, the people talking below our building as they pass by, the ambulance sirens in the distance, it all starts to slowly gain volume as we're pulled back away from "us" and into the world once again.

"I...I should get going or I'm gonna miss my flight..."

"They wouldn't leave without you. They can't find in this town a tall, skinny girl with a smile as gorgeous as yours to replace you... They might go with Rhonda though. I hear she loves to travel."

We laugh, sadly. These lazy, meaningless yet enchanting afternoons were over and we knew it.

"Hey...I don't want you to take me to the airport."

"Guess I'll just have to take you by force then. Let's face it, you're not strong enough to fight me off on this, better to just let me take you and avoid the whole "me going to jail for kidnapping a woman" drama."

She smiles at me like I've never seen her smile before. Her eyes shining, tilts her head a bit, one of her sexiest tics, licks her lips and says "I wish I didn't have to go..."

I stop. That's the first time her shell comes off. Just when she's about to leave...I don't want this. Not now. I've gotten used to the idea of her being just another girl. This makes it a thousand times harder to say goodbye.

"You know, you really know how to choose the best momments to pour your heart out."

"I do, don't I? I bet Rhonda has better timing than me..." She claims, quickly rubbing her eye with her sleeve and lightly laughing at her own joke, trying to hide the tear I knew was coming.

"I don't know how to tell you this Sarah but..." I try to put on a serious face, but I fail as i finish the sentence. A joyful smile betrays me. "...there is no Rhonda."

We both laugh.

"I'll be right down, can you go ahead and bring the car around? I'm just gonna get my bag from my apartment."

"Don't order me around!" I sarcasticly say as I leave. Sarah laughs.

4:30 pm

"Well, this is it. I can't go past this point with you. Well...I can, but only for some brief seconds untill the security guys catch me." I point at one of the security guards leaning lazily against a pilar. He's overweight and looks like he wouldn't even try to move if I ran past the security check "Well if they're all like that one, we still get a couple of minutes to say goodbye in there."

She smiles and looks away, eyes watering up.

"You know, I hated this town the moment I moved here. I don't know what it is about Chicago...it's a great place, our building by the river has a lovely view but...I didn't like it here. Then I met this guy...this...confident, funny yet immature and kind of lost guy that made me love it here..."

I smile back at her, brush her hair behind her ears and reply "I'd love to meet him someday. He seems interesting." We both faintly laugh, once again.

"You always know what to say..." she comments ironicly, rolling her eyes, smiling and gently pushing me away. I pull her back in and kiss her for the last time. Not a passionate, hot kiss. Just a quick peck on the lips. Goodbyes make me feel depressed so I'd rather not say it or mean it in any way.

"I'll see you tomorrow dear" I say, smiling as I move away, winking at her.

"Don't forget to pick up the kids!" she playfully answers, laughing with tears in her eyes.

Don't look back Dean. Don't look back or you will spend another month trying to forget her.

I don't. I keep walking. Almost mechanicly. I walk past the street, into my car, start it up, punch the steering wheel and yell "FUCK!". Why do the good ones have to leave?

Well for all I know she wasn't one of the good ones. If I rationalize this, I didn't really get to know her. So why do I miss her so fucking much? It's been 3 months Dean, you're a man. Shake it off and lets get back to our life. I gotta be at work in an hour. Better go home, take a shower, start fresh and get my mind off of her.

5:30 pm

I get home and I realise the door is unlocked. It was Sarah who closed it the last time, since I was getting the car around. I go in and look at the desk in the hall. There's an enevelope standing there with a big "Dean" written on it.

Just when I was about to close this whole damn mess behind me...

I open it and read the small letter inside.

"Dean

I know notes are kind of a cowards way of saying things, but I'm a girl, I can afford to be coward every once in a while.

You never got to know me because I thought it would be best to keep things supperficial between us, to avoid getting involved, the sad goodbyes, the end of a relationship...but I was wrong. I fell for you and what I most regret is that you never got to know me...

My last name is Florence, my parents are from Springfield, Illinois, where I was born and raised. My favourite band is the Beatles and that scar on my neck you wanted to know about? When I was 9, I fell down while Ice skating and I hit the wooden boards that limited the ring with my neck.

Also, I hate butterflies. I don't know why, it's a pet peeve of mine...

I wish i could have stayed and tell you all of this and a lot more in person...I really wish you got to know me...but maybe it's better this way...I gotta go now, you're downstairs in the car and I know you don't like to wait.

Love,

Sarah"

11:30 am

I couldn't sleep. No sleep at all. Even on the flight here, where I usually just nod off as soon as the plane takes off and wake up with the flight attendant telling me we arrived, I couldn't sleep.

I look like a 15 year old girl crying because her high school crush doesn't love her back.

Pull yourself toghether Sarah, You start working tomorrow, you gotta undo your bags, get your life in order and move on. He's just a guy.

I hate moving. So much packing and unpacking. Let's hope Boston is the real deal now, I'm getting tired of travelling around this great country of mine looking for a steady place...but then again, nurses are everywhere nowadays...I just hope Boston's Medical Center takes me in for good.

I can't wait to start working just to get my mind off of me and into work mode. That's exactly what I need right now...

He wasn't that great anyways...Dean, what kind of a name is that? Nnoone's named Dean since the 60s...

The doorbell rings, finally the rest of my things arrive. I can start to make this place look a bit like my own, give it some charm.

"Who is it?" I ask through the intercom.

"Who the hell hates butterflies?" he answers.