Breaking up

"Maybe I'm Blind, maybe I'm blind, oh... I couldn't see you shine" true words that have never been spoken.

"I love you" she says...
"I gotta go..." I reluctantly answer, turning deaf ears to what she said...
I do love her but I think she's fooling herself...drowning herself in the desperate attempt of something real with someone like me.
I know what I deserve...and it's not her. Why should she waste a leap of faith on a degenerate man who's still a child inside...growing up only when the words "Poker" and "Drinking" resound in his ears.
No...if I do love her...I can't say it back.
She looks away from me and tries to disguise a brokenhearted face...
Her rapid descent from "fairy tale land", where princesses exist and happy endings never grow old, takes its toll on her usually high-spirited mood. Her red lips disguise the shocking call to reality with a vague smile, yet her eyes betray her in the most beautiful of ways: they shine ever so brightly, from the reflection of the morning sun on a concealed tear, watering up, waiting for me to leave, to water down...
I hate myself sometimes.
"Will you come by later?" she asks.
"I might..." I know I would. I would come by to once again say what needed to be said. To say those four little words no one in a committed relationship wants to hear: "we have to talk". And talk we would.
I would say I'm sorry...I didn't mean to fool her with promises of a future spent together...I wasn't boyfriend material. I would say we had our fun...
I would tell her she's far too perfect for someone as broken as me. She deserves her prince charming, her candlelight dinners, her perfect wedding...
She wouldn't listen. She would yell back at me for being with her for five months without ever mentioning my reluctance to try and have a happy life.
I'd agree.
I'd let her hate me. It's easier for her to get over me if she does.
And I'd leave.
Off to find someone else who I'd eventually deem far too beautiful to be with me...